Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why men Hate a Daddy's Girl

24 million children in the united states live without their biological fathers... 55% of African American children grow up in fatherless homes...

That is not me. I grew up with my daddy, in my home and I am a self - described "daddy's Girl". I can see you rolling your eyes now and giving the "sideways face" but why? There is a very negative connotation to the term "Daddy's Girl". Whenever I start the romantic roadtrip of getting to know a new guy, one of the first questions that always comes up is if I am a Daddy's Girl. Most men that I talk with are automatically turned off by this title and it normally counts as a strike against you as a woman or something that your potential partner will learn to "deal with". I have some speculations as to why.

When you say that you are a daddy's girl, the image of a spoiled brat comes up. A girl who at the flow of any tear can get her father's full attention and without any hesitation and can get him to cough up money, time or resources to solve any problem his baby girl may have. So this leaves a girl inside a woman's body, who has never learned to develop her own skills, or stand on her own feet to solve the problems of her world. Thats not me.

I have the strong father, who knew when to tell me no, knew how to push me when I didnt want to be pushed and also showed me how to take chances and risks while providing myself with backup plans. Their is a fear of the Daddy's Girl because these women have been taught by men, how real mean should treat them, and how to deal with them and what their actions really men. Real fathers act as spies to the male mind, informing their daughters of what to avoid in their relationships with men. And of course real fathers inform their daughters of their worth all the time, so that their daughters will never settle for less, believing its the best they can do. This confidence and insight to a weaker man can seem like something to avoid. Of course its harder to deal with a woman who has been raised by a great man, who has taught her her worth, and who has given her all the tools she needs to stand on her own feet. To all the men who are afraid of dating the "Daddy's Girls" out there... look in the mirror and understand why.

When a guy is turned off by my stated role as a Daddy's Girl I don't shy away from it. I want men in my life to know I have been properly trained in the sight seeing of bullshit and that I know my worth and that if all else fails in life, there will always be at least One man that I know loves me unconditionally, forever.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Dilemma of the Successful Black Woman

70% of black women are single. 42% of black women have never been married. There are 1.8 Million more black women than men. I don't even want to know the percentage of black men in prison or on the down low. When you take the time to acknowledge these numbers, and realize that for women the Higher in education she goes, the harder it is across all racial lines to find a husband... me currently pursuing my JD seems to be a nail in the coffin that is my love life.

As I watch Oprah, Dateline, and ABC televised specials... and i read Steve Harvey's Act like a lady, Think like a Man, or Jimi Izrael's the Denzel Principal.... it bcomes clear that its not just a state of mind. It is hard to find a man now a days especially if you are trying to find a black man.

Who is to blame? All the media would have you believe that black women are much like chilli from TLC, who has a long list of demands from penis size to what he must eat in order to be her man. But that isnt the case. Of course I have standards, as all women should. And I know that im worth the effort, so it becomes the dilemma of many single black women out there today... Why arent men reaching high or climbing further for those high quality apples at the top of the tree? While I know I am a quality apple at the top of the tree.. i know that gravity and age will wear an apple down and eventually ... well everything that goes up must come down right?

We shall see...